Preparing your parent for a move to assisted living

You have chosen a community. Now comes the practical part: paperwork, packing and the move itself. It is normal for this stage to bring mixed feelings for you and your parent, even when you both know it is the right step.

Take it one piece at a time. Our moving checklist keeps the tasks in one place.

Gather the paperwork

Communities usually ask for a set of documents before move-in. Ask your community for its exact list early, since requirements differ by state and provider.

• Residency agreement. Read it fully before signing. Ask about fees, how care levels change, notice periods and when a resident may be asked to move out.
• Health assessment. Many states require a health care provider evaluation before admission, often on a state-specific form. Some communities also ask for a recent tuberculosis test.
• Medication list. A current list of every prescription, over-the-counter medicine and supplement, with doses and prescribing doctors.
• Insurance information. Insurance cards, including Medicare or Medicaid identification if they apply.
• Legal documents. Copies of any power of attorney, health care proxy, living will or other advance directives.

Good to know: A health care proxy (or health care power of attorney) names someone to make medical decisions if your parent cannot. A durable power of attorney for finances names someone to manage money. The rules for these documents vary by state, so ask an elder-law attorney if you need to create or update them.

Downsize with care

Moving to a smaller space means letting go of many belongings. Start early if you can, and involve your parent in every decision they are able to make.

• Measure the new apartment and ask for a floor plan.
• Choose favorite furniture first: a familiar chair, a bed, a dresser.
• Ask the community what is provided and what is not allowed, such as certain appliances or rugs.
• Plan for items that go to family, are sold or donated, or go into storage.

What to bring

• Comfortable clothing and shoes, labeled with your parent’s name.
• Photos, artwork and a few meaningful objects that make the space feel like home.
• Bedding and towels, if the community does not provide them.
• Glasses, hearing aids, dentures and chargers, with spares if you have them.
• A small amount of money and any items for hobbies they enjoy.

Moving day

A calm, well-planned day makes a real difference.

• Confirm the move-in time and who from the community will meet you.
• Hand over the medication list and bring medications as the community instructs.
• Set up the room before your parent arrives, if possible, so it already looks familiar.
• Keep the day simple. Plan a meal together and leave time to rest.

The first few weeks

Settling in takes time. Your parent may feel tired, sad or unsure at first, and you may feel guilt or relief, or both.

• Visit often at first if you can, but also give your parent room to join activities and meet people.
• Introduce yourself to the staff who care for your parent day to day.
• Keep a note of anything that concerns you, and raise it early with the right person.

Ask this: “Who is my main point of contact, and how do you prefer I raise a concern?”

Stay involved

Your role changes after the move, but it does not end.

• Attend care plan meetings. Ask when your parent’s needs will be reviewed and ask to take part.
• Keep records current. Update the community when medications, doctors or legal documents change.
• Watch for changes. Notice weight, mood, grooming and how your parent talks about daily life.
• Know where to turn. If a problem is not resolved with the community, your state’s Long-Term Care Ombudsman program helps residents of assisted living and other care settings with complaints and concerns about their rights.

If your parent’s needs change significantly over time, you may want to revisit our guide on care options with their doctor.